SEKRIT BLOB.

Season 4, Episode 11 - Public Relations

Leslie hires public relations specialist Claire Lane to help with her campaign; with Tom’s help, Donna puts on a presentation in order to get a raise; April convinces Andy that the PR lady doesn’t exist; Ron and Ben get stuck in traffic together.

Basically, ANN MEETS CLAIRE LANE AND THEY ARE INSTA BFFS. Donna decides she deserves a raise and gets Tom to help her throw a huge presentation (Jean-Ralphio helps too) YAY TOM/DONNA/JEAN-RALPHIO FUN TIMES. UNNECESSARY POWERPOINTS!!!! (Donna totally gets the raise btw. Tom is like START SAVING UP FOR TREAT YO SELF TWO THOUSAND TWELVE!!!) When Leslie asks Andy to talk to Claire so they can set up a meeting, April convinces him that she doesn’t exist. SHENANIGANS ENSUE. ~leslie r u alright claire isn’t real~ ~of course she is!!!!!!~ Ron and Ben get stuck in traffic together after helping Leslie out with… some campaign stuff. AND IT IS AWKWARD AND HILARIOUS. Chris hits on Claire while Ann and Donna are in the room. And Ann is like :| :| :| DON’T DO IT CLAIRE I’VE BEEN THERE AND I KNOW!!!! and claire is like I’M NOT INTERESTED IN HIM :) and ann is like SUPER RELIEVED BUT SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHY (and thus oblivious ann was born!!!!!!!) and Donna is like #OTP!!! Leslie/Andy meet Claire at the end and Leslie gets a text from ann like CLAIRE’S GREAT :) and Leslie is like :DDDDDDDDDD 

Season 4, Episode 12 - Background Check

Leslie takes Ben and Tom along with her to Indianapolis for an interview, Ann and Claire do an extensive background check on Leslie with unexpected results; meanwhile, Jerry and Ben do their own background check.

Leslie +crew head out to Indianapolis for Leslie’s BIG TALK SHOW GIG BCUZ CLAIRE GOT HER ONE IDK. Leslie freaks out and Ben and Tom try to keep her calm. Cute shenanigans ensue. ALSO THERE SHOULD BE WAFFLE EATING AT SOME POINT. WAFFLES AS STRESS RELIEF: THE LESLIE KNOPE STORY (A LIFETIME ORIGINAL MOVIE). Cute Leslie/Ben stuff and Tom is like AM I SENSING SOME LOVE???? and they’r elike :| #poor tom. MEANWHILE ANN AND CLAIRE are working on a background check on Leslie. They find a bunch of normal stuff (and embarrassing stuff. THOSE AMY POEHLER STOCK PICS!) and then Claire stumbles upon the Mr. Leslie Knope and Wife Ann article and she’s like OH SO YOU TWO ARE- and Ann’s like NO NO NO NO! NOT THAT I’M HOMOPHOBIC OR ANYTHING I MEAN I’M NOT EXACTLY STR8 (ERICA EVANS ONE NIGHT STAND WHAT’S UUUUP) and it’s all word vomity and it’s cute and awkward and Claire’s like OH!!!!! and SHE’S SUPER INTO ANN NOW (not like she wasn’t before BUT THE WORD SUPER IS IN THERE NOW). Ben is convinced that Claire Lane is Cersei Lannister~ CLAIRSEI LANEISTER! and makes Jerry help him PROVE IT (which they don’t but everyone plays it up just to freak out Ben). And April convinces Claire to do the whole MY TWIN JAY LANE thing (WHICH OF COURSE WILL BE A RUNNING GAG FOR THE ENTIRE SEASON!!! #poor ben!!!)

Season 4, Episode 13 - Ludgate Family Reunion

The Ludgate family hosts a reunion; Andy and Tom get lost; Chris breaks his leg while visiting his mother in Florida.

Chris flies out to visit his mom because I said so and also he breaks his leg so he has to stay there 4ever #REASONABLE HUMAN ALERT~ AND THEN THE EPISODE STARTS 4 RL. JUST A CUTE EPISODE OF PARKS DEPARTMENT FUN TIMES. Andy and Tom get lost before Andy meets ALL OF THE LUDGATES and April is like :| :| :| and makes the entire Parks Dept come too because she’s silently freaking out because TOM STOLE HER HUSBAND AND THEY AREN’T BACK YET. FUN WITH THE LUDGATES. IDK IT’S A CUTE FILLER EPISODE OK SHUT UP. Everyone hangs out with the ludgates and there are some ~cool guest stars~. ZOE SALDANA AS A LUDGATE BECAUSE OF REASONS. HOT PPL U LIKE AS LUDGATES.  Claire/Leslie/Ann/Donna/April hang out too. AND LESLIE AND DONNA ARE LIKE SO CLAIRE HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT LESBIANS and it’s AWFUL AND CRINGE INDUCING BUT ALSO HILARIOUS and also CLAIRE COMES OUT SO~~~~~~~~~~ #lesbiannperkins and April is just like THEY’RE TOTALLY GAY FOR EACH OTHER. WHATEVER. WHERE’S ANDY?!!!! eventually tom and andy make it to the reunion and SOMEONE MISTAKES TOM AS ANDY so the ludgates rush to hug tom dsiughauidgag but april rushes to hug andy :’) CUTE STUFF. anyway the ludgates love andy~

Season 4, Episode 14 - The Concert

Leslie puts on a major concert; Andy, April, and Ben are stuck at home with stomach viruses; Claire signs Ann up to sing; Tom finds embarrassing childhood photos of Ron.

AKA REGINA’S BEAUTIFUL EPISODE. Leslie throws a huge concert and is a huge ball of adorable anxiety all day. Claire walks in on Ann singing and finds out Ann is actually a gr8 singer. THEY MAKE CUTE FACES AT EACH OTHER #OOOH MS. LANE OOOH #LET’S DO IT~~~ The main act/band/ppl cancel their performance and Leslie’s like OH I’LL JUST GET MOUSERAT but then APRIL ANDY AND BEN ARE SICK!!! from a stomach virus after Ben tried to cook a !serious adult meal because he’s sick of April and Andy eating cereal all the time (BEN WYATT: HUMAN DISASTER). So Leslie freaks out (because of ben and the concert!) and Claire is like ANN SHOULD SING!!! and Ann flips out and she and Claire have a tiny bb adorable fight #otp god!!!! but Ann agrees to sing and Leslie is like BEAUTIFUL ANN SAVES THE DAY! and they hug and Claire walks off all sad like because she and Ann made angry faces at each other. And ROn hangs out with Claire bcuz he likes her and he saw the whole thing go downn. AW RON :’) Then Tom finds embarrassing pictures of bb!Ron and he starts showing them to the remaining non!sick non!sad parks employees and Ron is like :| :| :| so Claire digs up embarrassing pictures of Tom (because she wants to help Ron because he’s been so nice to her #BEST BROS!!! also jerry helps claire cuz he has sekrit connections #CLAIRE/JERRY BFFS) AND IT IS HILARIOUS. Also random scenes of the sick Ludgate/Dwyer/Wyatt household full of hilarity and cute married scenes between April/Andy!!! And in the end the concert goes great and when Ann goes up to sing she’s rly nervous, but she looks into the audience and sees Claire and they smile and wave at each other and Ann sings beautifully andandand gfahsiug ♥ andandand Leslie can be like U DID GR8 ANN and they hug but ANN KEEPS EYE CONTACT WITH CLAIRE AND :D!!!

Season 4, Episode 15 - Funds

Leslie and Ben track down the source of an accounting mistake; Claire asks out a Parks employee; Tom and Andy sneak into Ron’s house for Tammy 2; Donna starts a betting pool. 

LOL IDK BEN AND LESLIE NEED AN EPISODE OR SOMETHING SO THEY FIND AN ACCOUNTING ERROR AND LESLIE IS MISSING SOME CAMPAIGN FUNDS AND DETECTIVES KNOPE AND WYATT ARE ON THE CASE. Ben gets called Nancy Drew all episode~~~. Claire asks Ann out but Ann thinks they’re JUST HANGING OUT #oblivious oblivious ann. And they have a picnic or something and HAVE A GREAT TIME. And Claire is like #SUCCESS until ann ruinz it (:| :| :| DAMN IT ANN) and is like I LIKE HANGING OUT WITH U UR SO GR8 ITS SO GR8 TO HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS!!! oh annnnn. Tammy 2 returns bcuz she wants to… IDK I JUST WANT TAMMY 2 BACK AND MORE RON/TAMMY JUNK HAPPENING AND MORE TOM/ANDY FRIENDSHIP. Meanwhile, Donna is… IDK MAYOR FOR A DAY BECAUSE OF REASONS THAT WOULD BE A FUN SUBPLOT. Jerry can come too~ ANYWAY. Donna starts a betting pool about CLAIRE AND ANN and everyone joins in~~~

Season 4, Episode 16 - Thursday

Leslie takes everyone out to cheer them up; April, Andy, Ben, and Tom invent a new drinking game; Claire, Jerry, and Ron watch as their co-workers get smashed; the group karaokes.

EVERYONE IS BUMMED OUT BECAUSE OF REASONS. Leslie/Ben angst or something. Claire is bummed about Ann REJECTING THEIR DATE!!! Ron just had to deal with Tammy. etc etc. SO LESLIE IS LIKE OKAY LOSERS GET IN WE’RE GOING… DRINKING. SNAKEHOLE LOUNGE SHENANIGANS…. DURING THE DAY. They’re the only ones there so it gets boring and Tom calls Jean-Ralphio and SUDDENLY PPL EVERYWHERE. Ann gets ~buzzed enough to admit that she has WEIRD CONFUSING FEELINGS and leslie is like ANN U LIKE HER SHE LIKES U OBVIOUSLY AND YOU GUYS WENT ON A DATE!!! ANNNNNN. and ann is OVERWHELMED so she DANCES ALL UP ON SOME DUDE and then she hates it #oblivious dork!!! BEN/APRIL/ANDY/TOM INVENT A DRINKING GAME. It has RLY RIDICULOUS RULES~~~ Soon everybody’s drinking and SUDDENLY DRUNKS AND RECREATION. But Claire is TOTES SOBER because of reasons. SO Claire/Jerry/ROn have some ~fun Look Out Our Drunk Co-Workers LOLOLOL moments. IDK REGINAAAAAA. but yeah she takes drunk oblivious beautiful ann home because ann is like CLAIRE I’M SAD THIS GUY WAS TOTALLY INTO MEEEE AND I’M NOT INTO HIMMMM I WANNA GO HOMMME (beautiful idiot) but claire is like BIG DOOFY SMILE!!!! and and and once she gets ann home ann is like STAY and she stays to make sure ann is ok and this beautiful scene happens!!!!! also more drunk shenaniganiganians (I HATE WORDS WITH Gs AND Is AND Ns AND As #REIGNIGNIGAAAA) between the rest of the parks dept. DRUNK KARAOKE IDK. THEY GET RON TO SING A KE$HA SONG. LESLIE SINGS THE NATIONAL ANTHEM. TOM AND JEAN-RALPHIO RAP. APRIL AND BEN AND ANDY SING BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY AND BEN GETS RLY INTO IT. it’s gr8

Season 4, Episode 17 - Casual Friday

Everyone has hangovers from the night before; Tom gives an “important” presentation; Leslie defends Ann’s honor; Ron defends Leslie’s honor.

EVERYONE IS HUNGOVER!!! Except the Ron/Claire/Jerry trio and they’re just like SMIRK SMIRK SMIRK and Claire is like RAISED EYEBROWS WHEN PPL COMPLAIN TO HER. Smug jerks! ANYWAY. Claire left her jacket or something at Ann’s house and forgot to grab it before heading home to change or w/e. So ANN COMES IN WITH IT and Donna just like shouts I WIN! (about the betting pool obviously~~~) and everyone is like :| :| bcuz they’re super hung over. but then ann is like OH U LEFT THIS AFTER YOUR DROPPED ME OFF AT HOME THNX FOR TAKING CARE OF ME YOU’RE SUCH A NICE FRIEND and Donna is like :| oh. anywayyyyyy. Tom comes in super peppy and totally fine because he is made of magic or something and he’s like EVERYBODY TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM, IMPORTANT PRESENTATION! and so everyone goes and the presentation ends up being like HIS GAME PLAN FOR GETTING BACK TOGETHER WITH LUCY and it’s so long and there are random dance breaks and slides with animated gifs, but everyone just lets it happen because they’re in a dark room and they don’t want to work anyway. AND THEN HAND HOLDING. like it starts off with accidentally hand bumping and then just full out hand holding and it’s cute :’) and some ppl notice and there’s an april talking head where she’s like SO ANNOYING. JUST BONE ALREADY. Then the presentation ends and Claire is like SO ANN and she tries to have a serious talk about their ~relationship and Ann freaks and runs to Leslie about it. Leslie misinterprets Ann’s freak out as Ann being hurt by Claire so Leslie is like CLAIRE LANE IF YOU BREAK BEAUTIFUL ANN’S HEART I WILL BREAK YOUR FACE and she’s like I… WHAT? and Leslie goes on about how great Ann is for a while and is like AND YOU WOULD BE LUCKY TO HAVE HER!!!! and Claire is like I KNOW. and Leslie’s like… WAIT WHAT? and she runs out. Then Ron, who happened to hear everything, is like ~You’ll have to excuse, Leslie. She means well.~ and AWW RON :’) RON AND CLAIRE BFFS!!!!!!!!! idk they talk for a bit and ron is like I HATE TALKING ABOUT FEELINGS BUT… and he smiles a little bit bcuz he’s totally bffs with Claire. Then Leslie walks over to Ann’s office and they talk about her feelings and they have a practice date and ANN IS RLY EMBARRASSED AND FLUSTERED A LOT and Leslie is like OH ANN :’) U RLY LIKE HER and then Claire comes in and is like ~Ann, would you like to come to lunch with me?~ and they walk out of her office and EPISODE OVER.

Season 4, Episode 18 - Valentine’s Day

The holiday has everyone in a bad mood; April and Andy try to make their co-workers happy; Donna wins big cash from a betting pool.

HOW WAS YOUR DATE WITH CLAIRE, ANN??? everyone is in a ~mood again. Leslie and Ben are mopey around each other. Claire is like :( :( :( TOM KEEPS PHONING LUCY but she won’t answer. Jerry’s wife and daughter decided to TREAT THEMSELVES and went out and Jerry had a ~romantical dinner planned. #PHOTOSHOP YOUR LIFE JERRY. April and ANdy are the only happy ppl in the office and April’s like YOU GUYS ARE RUINING THE FUN so she and andy decide to be matchmakers. They set up a sekrit date for Ben and Leslie and lure them in with OFFICIAL NOTICES but it backfires because Ben is like THIS IS OBVIOUSLY FAKE IT WAS SIGNED BY BURT MACKLIN so he doesn’t go and Leslie shows up by herself. They steal Claire’s phone and April sends a LET’S BONE text to Ann and Ann is like LOL CLAIRE HAS SUCH A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR. They set up a whole bunch of plans and they all end up going hilariously wrong. In the end, EVERYONE FIXES THEIR OWN RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS. Ben is ~assertive and is like LESLIE LET’S DO STUFF IDK STUFF BUT STUFF OK and Ann tries to cheer Claire up which leads to HERSHEY KISSES. Lucy shows up and is like I TRIED TO CALL YOU BUT I LOST MY PHONE and Tom is like :D! Jerry’s daughter sets up a video chat between Jerry and his wife and they have dinner 2gethr. April and Andy are like WHATEVER WE’RE GOING HOME and they have a cute scene~ ANDANDAND finally Ann tries to cheer up Claire again but Claire is like ~no thnx ann i’ve had enough hershey kisses~ AND THEN REAL KISSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OTP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It ends with Donna who’s like, I GOT MORE THAN ENOUGH MEN and she fans out a bunch of money and nods like awww yeahhh~~~ cuz she won the Ann/Claire betting pool. AW YEAH DONNA.

Season 4, Episode 19 - Take Your Daughter to Work Day

Jerry’s daughter joins the Parks Department for the day; Leslie gets advice from her mother; Tom starts receiving texts from a ghost; Chris gives some unexpected news.

It’s take your daughter to work day and Leslie is like UGH WHY DON’T ANY OF YOU HAVE KIDS! and Jerry’s like WELL I and Leslie’s like FINE JERRY BRING YOUR DAUGHTER IN :| all sarcastically, but he brings her anyway. Jerry brings her around everyone’s office and it kinda shows what everyone does all day (PPL ACTUALLY WORKING!!!! SERIOUSLY WORKING!!!!) MARLENE GRIGGS-KNOPE APPEARANCE. idk why but it’s take your daughter to work day and she’s like HEY LESLIE and leslie goes over and she’s like I BROUGHT MY DAUGHTER TO WORK~~~~~ idk i just want her to come back. SHe and Leslie need a scene where she actually gives Leslie good advice for her life and her campaign and it’s like :’) before Marlene totally ruins it by doing idk what but that’s how she isssss. Tom is being obnoxious about getting back together with Lucy so APril starts sending him prank texts. She gets Ben and Claire to help her out and they create an elaborate story (yay april/ben/claire friendshiiiip!) and Tom’s like HEY GUYS I’M GETTING TEXTS FROM SOME GIRL NAMED ALMA HUGHS DO YOU KNOW HER and ben/claire are like no and april is like Obviously. Everyone in Pawnee knows about that creepy ghost girl. My sister saw her once and she peed her pants. and Tom’s like NOOO I’VE NEVER HEARD THIS and so april is like WELL ANN LIVES IN PAWNEE AND SHE KNOWS THE STORY LET’S GO ASK ANN and claire sends her a text and they all show up in Ann’s office AND ANN AND APRIL START MAKING UP THE BEST GHOST STORY TOGETHER~~~ aww APRIL AND ANN :’) meanwhile Tom keeps getting texts from ~Alma Hughs~ and is freaking out. Then they hear someone crying and tom is like ALMA HUGHS!!!!!!!!!!!! but it turns out to be Jerry’s daughter because Chris just called to break up with her. He met ~someone in Florida and is staying there and everyone’s like NO MILLICENT :( and Ann is like, TAKE IT FROM ME. HE’S NOT WORTH IT YOU’LL FIND SOMEONE BETTER (smiles at claire awwww~~~ lol but april pretends to gag). Then Leslie gets a call from Chris saying he’s quitting. (HAHAHAAAAAAAA.) the end.

Season 4, Episode 20 - Alien Invasion

Everyone camps out at Ann’s house when the FBI shows up to investigate an alien sighting near the pit; Ann meets Claire’s best friend; Ann’s former one night stand stirs up some drama; Leslie and April try to find a replacement for Chris.

The FBI shows up in Pawnee and everyone is like WAIT WHAAAT and it turns out there was an alien sighting near the pit. So Leslie is like I DECLARE A STATE OF EMERGENCY AND WE ALL HAVE TO GO TO INVESTIGATE. ANN’S HOUSE IS OUR HEADQUARTERS. and Ann is like WAIT I- and Leslie’s like THIS IS A MATTER OF LIFE OR DEATH ANN. so everyone shows up at Ann’s house and they camp out in front of her tv and eat her food and occasionally go outside and try to get into the ~~~crime scene. Then Claire recognizes a certain someone while watching the news and SUDDENLY OLIVIA DUNHAM IS ON PARKS AND REC and Claire is like I WANT YOU TO MEET SOMEONE and she introduces her to Ann. :’) and then Olivia’s like WELL I WANT YOU TO MEET SOMEONE TOO and SUDDENLY FBL! But then Ann and Erica are like :O :O :O and and ugh i am tired nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. ;______________; WHATEVER. THERE IS SOME ANGST OR SOMETHING. ALSO APRIL AND LESLIE ARE LIKE ~TIME TO FIND A NEW PARKS EMPLOYEE~. RANDOM GUEST STARS INTERVIEW. BUT IN THE END, APRIL IS LIKE ~GOD HIRE CLAIRE OBVIOUSLY ANN IS GOING TO BE ANNOYING WHEN YOU WIN YOUR CAMPAIGN AND CLAIRE HAS TO GO BACK TO WHEREVER SHE CAME FROM.~ AND LESLIE HIRES CLAIRE. IDK. BEN/TOM/ANDY SEE THE ALIEN. THE ZORP PEOPLE ARE LIKE ZOOOOOOOOORP. IDK WHAT TO DO WITH THIS ALIEN STORY LINE I’M TIRED I WANNA TAKE A NAP ;__________-;